“You go girl, you get up there”

I have been fascinated by NASA’s Shuttle Program since the first launch of Columbia in 1981. My mother woke me up early on that April morning, I was 5 years old; about to turn 6. I remember being bleary eyed and excited. I have a sense that we had talked about this event, that I knew it was going to happen and that Mom made sure I would witness it. I was awestruck. It was the first time in my memory that United States’ spaceflight wasn’t history; something we had done in the past. This was now! This was the future! This was flying cars and jet packs and Astronauts-as-superheroes type stuff!

Needless to say, I was hooked.
Every launch was a big deal in the early days. It seemed every time a Shuttle went up, it was newsworthy. Until it became so common as to be routine. NASA needed the Shuttle to make news again, keep people interested. So came the “Teacher in Space Program”. A regular citizen could go into space! This was exciting again! And everyone was paying attention! And we know what happened… to this day, I cannot say the word Challenger without chocking back tears. And Columbia too.

So this machine, this wonderful thing, has been a part of my entire life. There always would be a Shuttle. Why not? Getting to see a launch would be cool, right? But we’ve got all the time in the world!

Well, no, we don’t.
NASA announced the end of the Shuttle Program. STS-135 wasn’t even supposed to happen, the last Shuttle mission was added almost as a matter of convenience. You can read about it here. As the end drew near, I realized the chances were out. This was it.

Now, it is important to note, this is not something I would have done for myself, by myself. The wonderful Tricia Decker, my amazing soul mate, made this happen for me. She vowed to move heaven and earth to get me to this launch. Once the date was set, she secured me a ticket to the best viewing spot available to the public, the NASA Causeway. She made it clear that I would see Atlantis fly, by hook or by crook, no matter when it finally launched. Did I mention, she’s amazing?

Friday, July 8th, 2011 1:20-ish AM EDT
That’s what time I got up. I had to catch a tour bus that would take me to The Kennedy Space Center Visitor’s Complex. The bus left around 2:00 AM and made the trek form Orlando to Cape Canaveral. The trip took a little over an hour and we arrived at KSC. After security checks, I made my way to the IMAX theater to watch Hubble. I visited the Rocket Garden and milled around a bit. By 4:30 AM I noticed that the crowd had grown to ginormous while I wasn’t looking, and decide that it might be wise to head to the bus loading zone. I didn’t have to be at the bus until 7:00 AM, but there were so many people that I honestly thought I might not make it on time.

We all made it back the bus on time, and we sat and waited for a good while. I managed to catch a nap before we were given the go-ahead to make our way out to the Causeway. We arrived on the Causeway about 9:45AM, which meant about 2 hours of waiting before the scheduled launch time. You could feel the energy in the crowd. You could also feel that “thing” that no one wanted to really talk about. The Jinx. The Weather.

Over the course of the next 2 hours we were treated to the Crews’ chatter over the loud speakers. Systems checks, various crews checking in, the brave souls aboard Atlantis. And some dolphins playing in the water. But everyone’s ears perked up every time the weather was mentioned. That was going to be the Boogey Man for the Launch. Not only does the weather have to be favorable over LC39, but also the Kennedy Landing Strip. And France. And Spain. But with each report came increasing “cautious optimism” that the weather was going to be green and a “go for weather”.

As the countdown continues, there are various built-in holds in the clock. Intentional break-points to allow for checks and other activities, such as tucking the crew in and removing all the extraneous equipment from the Orbiter. Pressurize the cabin, check the seal. Etc. Lots of very talented and dedicated support personnel doing their life’s work, one last time. We make it through the hold at T-20Mins and the clock runs down to the built-in hold at T-9Mins. This hold will last for 45Mins.

T-9 and down
The clock ticks down at T-9Mins. A very fast 9 minutes. There is 1 more optional hold at T-5Mins, and I imagine that for those paying attention, that is our mental “finish line”. If we pass T-5 and keep going, this bird is gonna fly! Every announcement that brings reports of “go” status results in cheers from the crowd. A mass of mostly strangers that all want the same thing. I overheard 1 comment that describes the energy best; “It’s like waiting for Christmas, but you don’t know if Christmas is coming…”. T-5Mins and down and we clear the optional hold! The crowd cheers. We are going to have a “go” for weather! Everyone’s heart has to be in their throats at this point. Welled up with every emotion.

T-31Secs
There is only a 4 minute launch window. Anything that holds the launch for more than 4 minutes would result in a scrub. Those paying attention have this clock ticking in their heads. T-31Secs is a critical point. This is the time in the countdown that Launch Control hands over to Atlantis‘s on board systems and She is in control of the launch. T-31Secs and the clock stops. And the clock in our heads starts ticking. What’s wrong? Why now? We only have 4 minutes! This can’t be happening. We are so close! The shuttle’s on-board systems faulted on a switch that couldn’t register that the tower gantry arm had fully retracted. The crews all maintained that trademark professionalism that you hear, but with a sense of urgency. They worked the issue in under a minute and got visual confirmation that the gantry was clear, and we are “go”. Sweet Jesus. This girl is going up.

We have lift-off
The last 20 seconds went by faster than you can imagine. At T-5Secs the Atlantis main engines light and at 0 those Solid Rockets light up and she is off. A cloud of exhaust quickly enveloped the entire launch pad and Atlantis herself. And just as quickly she rose above the exhaust. And up. And up… When you see a launch on TV, it seems to happen in slow-motion. Not. The. Case. It’s cliche, but she went up like a rocket!

There was quite a bit of cloud cover that day, so my view of the assent was truncated. Atlantis rose into the clouds and disappeared with a halo. But she was still with us. The pressure wave from the massive amounts of energy being expended washed over us. That signature throaty growl of the SRBs. Then, through a break in the clouds, one last glimpse of one last ride. So much smaller now, so much farther away, so much faster. Because of the clouds, we were unable to witness SRB separation, but we heard over the loudspeakers that she made it. And just like that, we all kind of looked at each other. Said goodbyes to the brief friends in history that we had made, and got back on the bus.

Top 5
The entire experience was emotionally recharging. I will tell you, I cried. I cheered. I expressed frustration. Why was this the end? Look what we can do when we want to? Why do we spend so much to kill and hate? We are built to be explorers! This is what humanity is meant for!

This day will live in my heart forever. Because of the love that sparked my obsession to the love that brought it to reality. This day ranks among the most amazing days I will ever live. Our wedding, the birth of our children, and this day. So full of emotion, so full of potential, so full of the question of what’s next.

Life is always about what’s next.

blog comments powered by Disqus